When we talk about life in the Kherson region, we often mention shelling, destruction, and evacuation. But children continue to live alongside these realities. They are growing up in cities and villages where war has become part of everyday life. Many of them first endured quarantine, then occupation and de-occupation, and today they live every day amid the sounds of explosions and in conditions of constant danger.
Despite this, childhood does not disappear. Children still need friends, social interaction, games, celebrations, and a sense of security. That is why, in Kherson and communities across the region, civil society organizations are working to create safe spaces, conduct classes, organize creative and sports activities, support children, and help them remain part of the community.
In the new episode of “Conversations on Restoration,” we spoke with child psychologist and coach Oleksii Knyha about how the war has affected children, why socialization is one of the key challenges today, what remote communities lack, and how childhood can be preserved even under shelling.
Oleksii Knyha works primarily in psychosocial support and emotional relief for children: “Most of the time, my job is simply to support a child, listen to them, bring them a little happiness, and give them back at least a small part of their childhood. I teach self-defense classes, organize children’s parties, and work as an entertainer. War is war, but life goes on. We hold events even in basements and shelters to give the children at least a small celebration. Sometimes fifteen minutes of joy is enough to make those emotions last a long time. Kherson is alive. And with these small steps, we sustain that life.”
The war has profoundly changed the children. According to Oleksii, many children today are afraid to go out into society. Due to the COVID-19 lockdown, which began even before the full-scale invasion, children had already started to lose their ability to socialize. With the start of the war, the occupation, and the de-occupation, this situation has only worsened. Some children have effectively had no normal, face-to-face interaction for years. Some children have never attended school in person. Before the war, school itself was a socialization environment. Now, many children lack this experience. Their entire lives consist of online learning and home: “And when such a child finds themselves in a space with many other children—where people are running, shouting, and playing—they simply feel lost.”
At the same time, children often adapt to stress more quickly than adults. They get used to what’s happening around them. For them, shelling, drones, and sirens become part of reality. But this also has its consequences—children who constantly live in dangerous conditions find it difficult to adapt to safer places. As an example, Oleksiy cites children from the Kherson region whom charitable organizations take on vacation to camps abroad or in safer regions of Ukraine: “The children say that at first, it’s hard for them there. They’ve already gotten used to listening for explosions, watching their step, and looking up at the sky. And when there are children in the same group who, fortunately, don’t know what war, shelling, or drones are, and children who live in conditions of constant danger, it’s like two different worlds. For us, this is the reality of life.”
According to official data, there are still about 5,000 children in the Kherson community alone. Many children live in temporary housing—modular villages that were meant to serve as temporary shelters after evacuation from the “red zone” and the loss of their homes, but, unfortunately, most of them remain there for an extended period. Oleksiy says there is a noticeable difference between children who remain in their own homes—for example, in Kherson—and those living in these modular housing complexes: “In Kherson, there are children who don’t go outside at all because of the danger. And here’s the question for parents: why not take your child to a safe place if you’re worried about their safety? There are places across the country that take in mothers with children, and foundations that provide assistance. The modular towns are a world of their own. It’s more or less safe there; children can play on the lawn and socialize with friends. This is the kind of community that fosters their development.”
Oleksii Knyha participates in events and training sessions at various safe spaces in Kherson. He collaborates with various civic organizations and foundations that are currently helping children adapt to their new reality. We asked him how this collaboration works, what’s missing, and what could be improved in the work of the civil society sector: “In my opinion, many organizations go to the Kherson region for PR. There are, let’s say, well-known villages, and every foundation makes sure to go there and bring aid. There are villages where only 10–13 children remain—people who are really struggling—, but no one goes there because it’s not ‘good for PR.’ I really love visiting such villages, even though there aren’t many children there. It’s still great to spend time with them. At first, the children are afraid, but then they start looking forward to your next visit. It gives the children a chance to get together and spend time with each other.”
Oleksii advises nonprofit organizations and foundations that deliver aid to children to focus on children’s ages, connect with them on their level, and speak their language; this helps children open up more and leads to better emotional relief. Oleksiy particularly emphasizes that children need not only humanitarian aid but also attention. Psychosocial support isn’t just about professional psychological help. Often, it’s about the opportunity to be heard.
According to Oleksii Knyha, both civil society organizations and local authorities are taking important steps to support children in Kherson and communities across the region. The psychologist cites the creation of safe spaces—where children and parents can gather in a relatively safe environment—as the main achievement. Civil society organizations have played a major role in providing humanitarian aid, allowing the authorities to focus, for example, on security issues.
Oleksii speaks rather cautiously about the recovery of the Kherson region. In his opinion, as long as hostilities continue, it is too early to talk about full-scale reconstruction. He believes that the main task right now is to sustain community life and create safe conditions for children and adults.
“This is what our recovery looks like right now. Children go to different places, try new activities, and make friends. They aren’t stuck at home all the time. And that’s very important,” says the psychologist.
Oleksii notes that amid constant shelling, people are reluctant to invest resources in rebuilding homes or constructing new facilities, since there is no guarantee they won’t be damaged again tomorrow. He pays special attention to the development of shelters and underground hubs. In his view, as long as the city remains under constant threat of shelling, educational, sports, and cultural activities for children should be concentrated there. Oleksii supports the idea of setting up sports areas, recreational spaces, and activity areas for teenagers in shelters, as this helps not only maintain physical health but also rebuild social connections. The problem, however, is that international donors are often reluctant to allocate funds for rebuilding social connections.
The topic of children’s reactions to shelling runs throughout the interview. What strikes Oleksii most is how well the children have adapted to the war and how often they view danger more calmly than adults do. He states outright that children today have been living in the reality of war for so long that many things have become routine for them: “Children are getting used to living in these conditions. They know what an air raid alert is, the sound of an alert going off, and the all-clear, what a ‘Grad’ rocket system, a tank, artillery, and KABs are. They already know all of this.” According to his observations, children often adapt to stress more quickly than adults. After shelling, they might say, “Yeah, it was scary, but it’s okay,” and quickly go back to their usual activities. Oleksiy also says that during classes, he often asks the children what they do when shelling starts. Their answers sound matter-of-fact: “We just keep sitting there.” If the danger is very close, the children say they go into the hallway or a safer place, grab their phone, and just wait for it all to end. Even in conditions of constant danger, children seek not only safety but also a normal childhood: “That’s why we work with the children who have stayed here. We support them,” says Oleksii Knyha.
Today, the best solution for families with children is to evacuate to safer regions. But as long as thousands of children remain in the Kherson region, they need support, companionship, and the chance to feel like children—even if only for a short while. Sometimes all it takes is a safe space, a few hours with friends, and an adult who’s willing to listen.
Despite all the difficulties, Oleksii is convinced that the city has a future: “Kherson is alive. And many people are surprised that businesses are opening here, celebrations are taking place, and people are continuing to make plans. I think that after the victory, the city will begin to recover very quickly. We’ve become stronger. We’ve learned to appreciate the simple things that used to seem ordinary. And I see many active people who are already doing everything they can for their communities. They are the ones who will continue to rebuild Kherson.”
We invite Kherson residents to participate in an anonymous survey to better understand the moods, needs, and challenges faced by the Kherson region's population, and to assess the effectiveness of public organizations and authorities' work. Each of your answers is a crucial brick in the foundation of your future recovery. Your answers are completely anonymous and will be used exclusively in a generalized form for analytical purposes.
The interview has been produced by the Kherson Regional Charitable Foundation “Union” with the support of the European Endowment for Democracy (EED). Its contents do not necessarily reflect the official opinion of EED. Responsibility for the information and views expressed in this publication lies entirely with the authors.
